Esprit de L'Escalier

Radio blues

My car cd player broke about two months ago, which sucks. I am currently driving more than I ever have in my life. (Which is depressing, especially since I'm in school to be an urban planner, but such is life for the moment.) The other depressing part of this is the radio in central Ohio. It's pretty dismal - lots of '70s, '80s, '90s hits or awful pop (at any given moment it seems that Fleetwood Mac is playing on one of four stations). The only "alternative" and "independent" radio station plays the same handful of new songs mixed with a larger handful of old songs, but it's not a very forward-looking station. This morning I was listening to its morning show, as NPR is in fund drive mode and one of its hosts was out sick, so it was low on stupid morning banter.

The songs were good, and I was dying to hear some of the She & Him album, so I called in a request. The host answered and said while she loved that album, the station didn't carry it. So I asked for her to play me a female vocalist. I still had about thirty minutes left on my commute (I know - it's long but I called at the beginning of it), and no female vocalists came on. Which is fine, I'm not really upset my unspecific request wasn't fulfilled. What I realized is that the station RARELY plays female singers. I have two questions. Why is the station limited in its new music? And why don't they play more female singers?

I think I'm just frustrated with my lack of choice. And I wish I could get Morning Becomes Eclectic on my radio station. Or WXRT. Or my favorite Pandora station. In the end this has lead me to wish I had my own radio show.

Sick

I've been laid up for the weekend and today, as a cold wends its way through my body. If I were a game of Risk, my throat and sinuses would have already been captured, with the enemy making a steady march on to my lungs. I've been cranky and achy and full of mucus. It's fun. I'm not at class today, hoping that another day in bed will directly transfer into a day closer to health. I'm going to San Francisco this weekend to see a favorite cousin and a favorite friend and I'd rather not have a sinus-related cold for the trip. Bah!

My eyelid is twitching

I messed up on the self-portrait above the other night. I was supposed to be in it. My life is a bit hectic right now. I'm trying to finish about eight things for school, go to work, go to sleep, etc. I'll have one big project done tomorrow. Another Monday, tests Tuesday and Wednesday. Wish me luck. Then I'll be able to return emails and phone calls.

Tomorrow, Jennifer is the cruise director for our Project Runway blogging. Join us! I'll most likely be light-headed and a little late...

Update: Natasha sent me a link to the video below. Spoon + dancing Japanese robots = excellence.

Losing track of time

I'm sitting in the basement - my lovely lair - next to the fireplace, tap-tap-tapping away, listening to the wind howl down the chute. Today was a howling wind sort of day. I was wiped from yesterday's hustle and bustle of non-stop academic activity from very early in the morning til very late at night. (Well, late at night I was watching Project Runway with my dear friend Jennifer.) This morning I needed to sleep in, so I was a little late to work. It snowed on my drive to work, once I got going. The snow was still by some farms near my town this evening.

Tonight's evening sky was a perfect, turbulent autumn sky - dark and quickly moving clouds with occasional partings of silver. The last week or so people have kept asking what I'm doing for the holidays, or various group project members have been anxious about assignments, and I kept wondering what the hell they were all so concerned for. Then I realized that next week is Thanksgiving. I'm not sure how this happened. But here it is, two weeks left in the quarter and I have no idea how I got here. Or exactly what is left that I have to do. Which is probably why my head has yet to explode.

Today I spent most of my time logging in some things at work, which meant I spent a lot of time up front on the electric typewriter. It makes me miss the little blue one I bought in middle school at a garage sale and treasured, though didn't do much with. I'm sure it didn't make the move from Ohio six years ago when my parents moved states. I still don't know what I'd do with it. I like the idea of hand typed Christmas letters, but doesn't seem like there is the time for that any more.

Since I will be insane the next two weeks with school projects and stats (the current bane of my existence), my posting in this place will most likely be light.

Here are a couple of polaroids of more of the stone surrounding the house. A friend once told my mother the house was "defensible." Should there be a revolution, you are all welcome here. (Oh god was this a rambling post.)

Grr... argh...

Just in case you’re wondering, the pola above does not accurately reflect my current state. I’m currently very annoyed with myself (and this damn computer which keeps freezing and erasing this stupid post). I was supposed to get up today and head to campus to work in the digital media lab on this project that I’m really behind on. I got off late and realized when the L pulled into Addison that a) the Cubs game was just getting out and b) I forgot my ID at home and wouldn’t be able to swipe into the lab. It was too late to go home (and too late to NOT deal with tons of suburbanite fans) so I thought I’d go to see if anyone was there and would let me in. No such luck.

Now I’m in this crappy public lab in the library, where the stupid IE keeps crashing on me. I should be working on an essay, but instead have been looking through the files on my jump drive, finding gems like this one. It’s from my trip to Washington State last summer. My friend, and sometime traveling companion, Stacey took it of Mariah, Matt, the Chicken and me while we were visiting Bainbridge Island. It makes me smile and wish I could go camping right now. (It also makes me wish I didn’t have to do this project I’m not currently doing but should be. But really, almost anything is giving me that feeling.)

My computer is also acting nuts. It froze while downloading a security upgrade and ever since, whenever I turn it on, the finder and top bar flash repeatedly and nothing on the desktop shows up. I can use the internet for some reason, sort of. I find this all worrisome. I made an appointment to take it to the Apple store and I hope it can get fixed.

My horoscope is also giving me mixed messages. Friday told me that I am charming and today’s tells me not to get ahead of myself and to keep grounded in reality.

Below is another pola that does not accurately represent the day.

Full of rage in the morning

I have made a fairly conscience decision not to write about politics here. It's not that I don't care; I do, very much so. I just think that there are a lot of people who cover politics and do such a good job of it that I don't think it's necessary for me to join the fray. This morning found me particularly full of pique and I thought I'd copy down my angry journal entry that I scrawled on the train today. Sorry for the extra dose of spleen.

Many mornings find me muttering or yelling things at NPR. It's not Morning Edition that makes me mad, but rather what Steve Inskeep and the lot are reporting. This morning's news has me bristling with anger in a way that hasn't happened in a while. (Since the 2000 election, there are stretches of time where I'm too numb to the goings-on in Washington for much reaction.) This Foley scandal had me shouting in the apartment, in the stairwell and on the steret on the way to the L. Some of Hastert's constituents in Batavia were interviewed saying that they don't think he should be held responsible for not acting on his knowledge of Foley's inappropriate behaviour with minors. I learned it's possible that Hastert has known for at least 2 years about this behaviour. TWO YEARS or MORE?? Hastert says he won't step down from his leadership position because it's "what the opposition wants." NO, you fool. We want someone to actually ACT LIKE A LEADER. We want an example of leadership, which means TAKING RESPONSIBILITY. Why does no one in Washington seem to remember what being a true leader means? It's doesn't mean hiding behind lies or ignoring the press's questions. Cowards. Do we not, as a country, know how leaders are supposed to act anymore? My roommate says that she thinks people are so enured to scandal that we expect cover-ups and don't seem to blame people for covering their asses. I am INFURIATED with the arrogance of politicians who haven't learned that cover-ups never work and the complete apathy of the populace.

To counteract my ire, I listened to some Whiskeytown on my iPod on the way to work. I normally don't listen to music on my commute but read, but I really needed some distraction. I thought Ryan Adams' sorrow tinged alt-country songs would act as a palliative. Plus my friend Jayb had sent me a link to a blog post about Whiskeytown and I knew I had to listen to it this morning. Listen to some clips here.

Mouth full of marbles

I have been feeling incredibly inarticulate lately, and today I am blaming it on the class I am taking. Well, I'm going to blame it explicitly on the reading for today's class. You see, this week I was a seminar leader, which meant I needed to have a close reading of the text and write a three page paper comparing and contrasting the text to other things we've read and to the greater themes of the class. Whatever, not too hard, right? Well, I despised this text. Truly, truly despised it. It was on multimodal discourse, which in itself isn't too bad. But it was a *very* academic theoretical 80 pages that I had to read. Lots of jargon that only obfuscated the point. It's like I saw the point, understood where and why it existed, and then I started reading and it totally confused me. It's like the reading took all my words of explanation away and I was left with a handful of jargon that I didn't know what to do with. And I didn't appreciate this. I'm used to being in a class and to be constantly talking about salient issues and making connections. I am making connections, but my words are gone. I open my mouth and marbles fall out. I think I'd make more sense if I resorted to grunts only. It's very frustrating and makes me angry. I thought reading was supposed to help you understand, not the other way round.

But I know I'm not a lost cause. Why? Well, I got out of class and all I wanted to do was talk. In it, I was pretty tongue-tied, which was awkward since I was supposed to be leading discussion. Out of it, I was abuzz with opinion and explanation of what we were talking about. Also, today we had a guest speaker, another professor in the program who teaches a course in the winter about old and new media. I was all over discussion. But then again, he was directly relating things to life, using some jargon, but not the ridiculous theoretical stuff. Maybe it's just the way the normal professor is leading discussion? Maybe I really should start taking ginko for my memory. Or have a cup of coffee right before class. Though as it is, I have a hard time getting to sleep after class. This much mental stimulation so close to bedtime makes it hard to get to sleep.

A couple of articles to read, completely unrelated

Check out this CS Monitor story by Kris Axtman and Mark Clayton entitled, "Worker right or workplace danger?" Apparently the NRA is encouraging its members to boycott Conoco gas stations because the company is forbidding its employees from keeping guns in their cars while at work.

Conoco says:

"ConocoPhillips supports the Second Amendment and respects the rights of law abiding citizens to own guns," the Houston-based oil company says in a written statement. "Our primary concern is the safety of all our employees. We are simply trying to provide a safe and secure working environment for our employees by keeping guns out of our facilities, including our company parking lots."

The NRA says:

"This case clearly goes to the very core of the freedom of Americans to own and travel with firearms in this country," says Wayne LaPierre, executive vice president of the NRA. If companies successfully block the Oklahoma law, "it could be a blueprint for thousands of corporations across this country to declare their parking lots anti-Second Amendment zones, which could in effect gut 'carry' laws in 38 states and restrict hunters on every hunting trip."

I think that enforcing this rule would be difficult, but I don't disagree with it. I think that companies have a right to say they don't want firearms on their property, in order to protect their employees and clients.

Although workplace homicides have declined dramatically in the past decade, weapons bans do appear to make workers safer, according to a recent study. Among hundreds of North Carolina companies surveyed, those that permitted guns to be brought to work saw a risk of homicide five times greater than companies that banned guns at work. "We saw a statistically significant increase in the chances of having a killing in any workplace that permitted guns," says Dana Loomis, professor of epidemiology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

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Here's another article I read today that I found interesting. As my friend Leslie said to me when I emailed it to her, she was looking forward to reading about the catfight. It's from today's Salon (get a free day pass to read the entire thing if you don't subscribe), and is by Gary Younge and called, "Dershowitz vs. Finklestein".

I love the first paragraph:

In his landmark book, "Democracy in America," 19th century French intellectual Alexis de Tocqueville commented on the fever pitch to which American polemics can often ascend. In a chapter titled "Why American Writers and Speakers Are Often Bombastic," he wrote: "I have often noticed that the Americans whose language when talking business is clear and dry ... easily turn bombastic when they attempt a poetic style ... Writers for their part almost always pander to this propensity ... they inflate their imaginations and swell them out beyond bounds, so that they achieve gigantism, missing real grandeur."

Check out the catfight.

Zheng He and how our schools don't teach us anything about Asia

In a round-about way I found myself looking up Zheng He on the wikipedia website. I was looking him up because the caption beneath the eighth picture in this set from the CBBC website. The caption reads:

An Indonesian actor dressed in traditional Chinese costume during a festival to remember the famous Chinese admiral explorer Cheng Ho.

"Famous Chinese admiral explorer?" I thought. "Never heard of him." Well that's because our schools teach us ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about Asia, besides the tiny bits we learn about WWII, which focuses mostly on Pearl Harbor and Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

To try and correct this error in my education, I looked him up. Wow, what a fascinating individual.

Zheng He was a Muslim eunuch who served as a close confidant of the Yongle Emperor of China (reigned 1403–1424), the third emperor of the Ming Dynasty. Originally named Ma Sanbao (馬 三保), he came from Yunnan province. He belonged to the Semur minority, who are originally from Central Asia, and practice Islam.

Did you know that there were practicing Muslims in China in the 15th century? Because I didn't. It makes me so mad when I learn about things like this, because Chinese history is so rich and complex and (not to mention *much* longer than our own), and I always wish that I had known it earlier. I understand why my mother studied Chinese history in college.

Listen to this:

The number of his voyages vary depending on method of division, but he travelled at least seven times to "The Western Ocean" with his fleet. He brought back to China many trophies and envoys from more than thirty kingdoms — including King Alagonakkara of Ceylon, who came to China to apologize to the Emperor.

There are speculations that some of Zheng He's ships may have travelled beyond the Cape of Good Hope. In particular, the Venetian monk and cartographer Fra Mauro describes in his 1457 Fra Mauro map the travels of a huge "junk from India" 2,000 miles into the Atlantic Ocean in 1420.

How is it this man was left off the list of great explorers I learned when I was a kid? Maybe because we are only interested in our European descent?

Though, scrolling down, apparently (if you are registered), Google Earth Interactive has his voyages tracked. That sounds awesome. Here's a link to an article entitled, "Explorer from China who 'beat Columbus to America'" from the Telegraph in the UK.

Also, check out the wikipedia article on the Yongle emperor, for whom Zheng He worked. He sounded pretty cool as well. His era name means "Perpetually Jubilant" and,

He is generally considered one of the greatest emperors of the Ming Dynasty, and to be among the greatest Chinese emperors.

We could all do with some more education. It can be the thing you learned today. It was for me!

Good grief.

This is why I don't like Billy Corgan. I mean, I think music is great and I want to support local bands and musicians, but something about this strikes me as entirely false. Like he's trying *WAY TOO HARD* or something. I know that I just started a blog so shouldn't be so squeamish with public confessionals, but good lord. This all seems too new-agey and crystals to me. Why is he taking out ads in Chicago papers? Is he going to hold open try-outs for new band members? Can he really be collaborative anymore? His head seems too big. But maybe this is all unfair, I just have problems with people labeling themselves and then wearing those labels on their sleeves (or cars). Like, "I am a Musician." "I am a Poet." "I am a Christian." "I am a Patriot." Turns me cold. As if that label supercedes their humanity somehow. I'm all for musicians, and poets, and artists of any kind. I don't like Jesus fish or American flags on people's cars. I don't like PDA. If you are these things, why do you need to advertise? If you are these things, it will be apparent anyway. Don't you have faith enough in yourself and your projection of yourself in the world?

Update: Apparently Greg Kot likes BC's new album. Good for him.